Today was a tough one. There were many things sent to test me……….as a professional, as a mother and as a wife. It is a natural instinct for me to question my ability. One thing leads to another and what seem like unrelated doubts, culminate in a plummet in confidence.
The most annoying thing about this, is that after all the work I have been doing on myself, I can now identify what is happening. It is almost like I am standing outside of myself watching things unravel, but today I could do little to stop it.
Why couldn’t I just take control of the situation?
I don’t know. I was tired after a bad nights sleep? Everyone struggled today? I am no good at balancing?
What I didn’t do was take a breath. Step out for a minute. Take time to myself. Be kind to myself. I was hard and unforgiving. Now here I am at 9:45pm finally getting a moment to reflect. Finally seeing I am my own worst enemy.
But…….I am grateful for small steps forward. Grateful I can now see what I am doing to myself. Grateful I have broken through it, albeit a bit late in the day! Grateful for the people around me who tried to help. Grateful for my bed.
Today I did not succeed in ‘living a life less stressed’ but we are all allowed a bad day and tomorrow is a new beginning.