My friend sent me this yesterday:
‘Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens’(Louise L. Hay, Healthyplace.com)
She is absolutely right. This is me. After my emotional weekend, I did fall back into the old pattern of questioning and criticizing myself. Did I get too emotional? Am I putting my own insecurities back onto the kids I mentor? Am I a bad Mum?
This message was a timely reminder that this kind of thought pattern doesn’t serve me well. It never has, but only I can change it.
So I am now telling myself…….everything that happened on the weekend and all the emotions that came with it, came from a place of genuine concern and care for others. I did my best in the scenario I was in and that is all that matters. If people don’t see it that way, then that is their problem not mine.
As far as my son and the soccer episode is concerned……… I have realised that his 11 year old brain is miles in front of mine and that in actual fact he acted in an outstandingly mature way. It is really remarkable that he was not only able to identify why he felt uneasy at soccer, but he was able to stand up and tell me. It can’t have been an easy thing for him to say to me.
I am so proud of him for standing up and voicing his concerns. I have told him this and that my intention has never been to add pressure to sport which is something I think should be enjoyable. He knows now he is in the driver seat, I will take his lead when it comes to watching sport. If he wants me there I will come, if not I won’t.
Our kids really are a wonderful reality check. We seldom give them recognition for the way they conduct themselves, most likely because we overanalyse things and have unrealistic expectations of them. But, if you sit back and look at their actions without overthinking it, they show us how things really can be so simple.
I have realised……..He didn’t want to fail me, because he loves me and respects my opinion.
Pure and simple.
I approve of the way I conducted myself on the weekend and I approve of my son’s actions. Love myself, love my son (I love him just a tiny bit more than I love myself though!! ;>).