For anyone who has been following my blog, you will know, I am in the process of reinventing who I am? Or possibly just trying to remember who I am, having got lost somewhere along the way.
My biggest issue, I have realised, has been that I have my whole identity tied up in being the person who takes on multiple things at once, is always busy, is a high achiever and is never satisfied with what I am achieving (particularly at work). I worked out through writing this blog, I do all this because I want to feel important but it is causing me an endless string of stress. When you strip it all away and I think of disassociating this from my identity, it scared the shit out of me (excuse my French), because who the heck am I?
Another really important point I have discovered; is that a high proportion of humans seem dissatisfied with what they have. They always seem to be striving for more, no matter who they are, where they are or what socioeconomic status they are. Only the select few are satisfied with what they have. In my opinion these are the people leading the most fulfilling lives.
I want to be one of them!!
The place to start (I guess) is in knowing who I am and feeling happy and satisfied with that person (not the one who is constantly striving for more).
This is going to take me some time but, I think the last month of travel and holiday has taught me a thing or two about me. I have realised one of my true core values is my absolute love for travel. The experiences my family and I have had over the last month, has made me feel more alive than I have in years.
I have realised I am not a material person. I don’t care so much for things and clothes etc. I care for the experiences of meeting new people, seeing new cultures and appreciating the beauty of different places and countries.
This in turn, has made me realise why I do what I do in my everyday life. I remembered that I chose a job that I knew I could travel in (which I did in my younger years) and one that I knew could pay me enough to pursue travelling into the future. So, the very work that has been stressing me out in recent times, I have realised is actually my vehicle. It is not my entire life purpose, but a tool to enable me to live the way I want to.
So, when I return to work later in the week, I return with a different attitude and a new love for what I do. I return knowing that the next few months of hard work are merely my ticket to the next adventure!!
I am going to continue to work out more of my core values in my bid to discover who I am and the person I want to be. I feel great knowing I have found my starting point, my homing beacon. Incidentally, this process has also reminded me why on this day 13 years ago, I married my husband. He too shares my love for travel and together we are introducing this love to our children.