Why don’t people think the way I do? Why do they not ‘get’ what I am going through? These are questions I have asked myself and my husband on a regular basis in recent months. The answer is…….. because I haven’t told them!! I haven’t told them because doing so is admitting I am struggling and to me that seems like failure. But, at the end of the day everyone can see that I am struggling and by not admitting it, it comes across as me being a grumpy and inflexible b#*^@.
I am realising that admitting our short comings and identifying things to others that cause us stress and anxiety, is actually a display of strength. Not weakness. It is showing them that you have identified something and are trying to change and improve it. People respect that and are more than happy on most occasions to actually help you with whatever you are struggling with.
I have always been particularly bad at asking for help. I would prefer to struggle on than admit I can’t do everything. Yet, on the converse side, I love to help people. If one of my friends or family ask me for help, I relish in the opportunity (maybe because it makes me feel important) and guess what…………. I bet that means my friends would relish in the opportunity to help me, if only I gave them the chance.
At the end of the day, despite what is displayed on the outside, most of us have at least one struggle or insecurity we are dealing with. So, why do we not tell people and accept help? We are actually all the same, our struggle might be different but we would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t have one.
Perfectionism is tiresome. I am not perfect and you are not perfect. It is time for me to stop trying to be perfect, to speak up and ask for help. If I don’t, people start to make assumptions and sometimes these can be worse and have more repercussions than just admitting your shortfalls.