Stickability

I don’t even know if ‘stickability’ is actually a real word or my invention but it refers to ones ability to stick at something!

I consider myself a sticker. I am pretty sure I model this trait to my kids on a reasonably frequent basis. I commit to things and I stick at them. I talk to them about when you commit to something you must follow through on it.

Yet……..one of my children changes their mind like the wind and demonstrates no remorse what so ever if they don’t ‘feel like’ doing something, even if it lets other people down. I feel horrified.

Part of me does wonder, who has this wrong?

Many around me, might argue that I stick at things for longer than is healthy! Things that I know are probably not serving me well or take too much of my time, I just keep on going and going and going, because I said I would.

Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Maybe, when it doesn’t feel right we should stop doing things.

But, my question is……how will you ever know what your special skills or loves are if you don’t keep trying things? Sometimes it takes a while of doing something before it suddenly clicks or becomes something you truely enjoy doing. What if they miss out on that opportunity?

Of course, as a parent there is also the glaringly obvious difference between them and us. I AM PAYING!!! If you want to join everything and give up half way through, then do it when you earn your own money thank you!

I think in our house we are all over scheduled. Each person’s schedule impacts the others. Each person’s stress impacts the others. This means even if they themselves are not doing too many activities, the kids feel like they are. They want a break.

In all honesty, this is a pretty common problem in the modern world. Our kids are scheduled from the minute they wake up until they go to sleep a good few days of the week. They crave time to veg out and do nothing or hang out with friends. Let’s face it, our adult lives are like that soon enough, surely they should be able to enjoy the freedom of childhood.

I don’t know the answer, cut it all loose or plow on? But, here are some things I do know: I am sick of fighting. I am sick of being yelled at. I am sick of tantrums and I am sick of paying!

Evidently, I think I have one child like me that moans about how busy she is and wanting to do less but when faced with the option of giving up something is horrified. Tonight she told me she was ‘born to do it all’. Oh dear……. ‘stickability’ might in fact be a curse!

LLS