I have watched two outstanding movies in the last week, ‘A star is born’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Both films illustrate the wonderful power of music and entertainment but also human nature. They are similar, but so different.
One thing that really hits home with me in both these films, is that regardless of how famous and talented people are, they still struggle with the same issues the rest of us do. The ability to believe in themselves, to know who they are and where they are going. They doubt themselves just like most. All the fame and money in the world can’t buy happiness and contentment.
Freddie Mercury’s character says at one point ‘being human requires some form of anaesthesia‘ referring to his drinking and drug habits. One has to wonder how one of the most flamboyant and clever entertainers of all time could possibly doubt himself. He was a talent like no other, but he wasn’t sure of himself.
But here is the thing, without a family around him he was nothing. His band QUEEN were his family and they were the ones that brought out the best in him. He was lucky enough to realise this before he fell in the biggest hole of all. Bradley Cooper’s character in ‘A star is born’ was not so. Freddie had the chance to make it right before he was taken too soon.
I have had a year of re-evaluating myself and my life. I have discovered that I am not that different to these characters (aside from the fact I can’t sing a note!!!). I doubt myself, I doubt those around me, I get caught up in things and often forget about the important stuff. I get stressed about the small stuff and then I use various forms of ‘anaesthesia’ (don’t worry I am not an alcoholic or drug addict!) to dull the pain.
I am the ‘Stressaholic’ that is my addiction. I crave the cortisol. It is almost like a love/ hate relationship. BUT IT IS NOT HEALTHY AND IT IS NOT SERVING ME.
But…… this does not need to define me any more. I don’t have to stay in the same box. I can create a new box, in fact it shouldn’t be a box at all.
2018 has been a difficult year, but I have learnt so much about the world and about myself. Some of it I don’t like. Some of it I am awed by. Some of it scares me. Some I am proud of. All of it, I can use to make me a better person. Someone who doesn’t wait for tomorrow.
On the 31st of December 2018 the ‘Stressaholic’ blog will be no more. It will be renamed. I am not sure to what just yet. But, to something more positive that defines the way I want to be from the 01/01/2019 and that is grateful, respectful, compassionate, content and proud of me.
But first……….. For the whole month of December I am challenging myself to blog every day something I learnt, something I am grateful for and something I want to improve.